138- FAST-FOOD FREEBIES...AS A COLLEGE STUDENT, I NEEDED THEM to SURVIVE! (c)......

When the girl at the second drive-thru window in my college town's McDonald's dropped in a ketchup packet for my Frenchy fries during college, I gratifyingly asked for five more and saved three for later in the dorm. Yes, I couldn't have gotten through college without those plentiful miniature fast-food freebies! They're everywhere: mayo, tartar sauce, green relish, minced onions, peanuts, dressings and reconstituted lemon juice. Every college and university cafeteria, highway diner, uptown bistro and family fast-food eatery in America has them. And for free...if you know where to look!
Reconstituted lemon juice?
Why collect the tiny tubs and and packets in college? Answer was simple...lack of extra funds. While my newfound dorm buds feasted on DCBB, that's double-cheese back burgers, with a side of pepperoni pan pizza, I had to choose a tube steak. Now, how does a 'po' college student 'dress' a tube steak? So, I helped myself to three yellow mustards, two ketchups and three green relish...miniature packets. Oh, and two brown mustards.
But, one had to learn to extract the droplets of goodies from the plastic packets. Each one has an edge, I think, with the saw look. "Tear here" usually doesn't work! One should keep one of those tiny moustache or cuticle scissors handy for curring. Whacking one end only squirts the contents in all directions. Some you can squeeze, but it takes skill and patience to open and squeezed enough for a tube steak. Check here to see if the 'start here' is starting to open. And if your miniature plastic packet bulges like a tiny mouse balloon, well, you did forget to "tear here."

Miniature packet perils? A few...mayo ones may not be as fresh as a jar! Don't squeeze soy sauce or hot taco sause. They eject and spread in all directions as soon as a tear begins...all over you. do not sit on a miniature freeebie while driving. Don't leave a packet of 'horsey barbecue sauce' in the car defroster slot on you dashboard in the winter. Or forget the tiny tub of honey you're warming on the raditor in the dorm for that frozen blueberry waffle you're been defrosting overnight for that early Logic class.

Napkins for special 'dinner parties' in the dorm for a date always had a wealth of variety. Popeyes (yellow), Corn On A Stick (more yellow) or Waffle House (even more yellow) napkins were in the closet. McDonald's white napkins didn't seem to impress my dates. But they all loved my blue-checkered Ben & Jerry's napkins for dabbing their lips. They usually don't match, however. If a date or a guest, or parent, got a napkin match, they earned a rare tiny tub of Smucker's mint-flavored apple jelly from IHOP's found near Westbrook, Ct.
Since Ronald McDonald is my special hero, from munchkinhood, a promo one time brought out a limited Shanghai McNuggets box. I stocked up on Sweet & Sour, Teriyaki and Oriental hot Mustard tiny sauces for future entertaining. Later, petite packages of croutons and 100% real bacon bits were added to salads, with a neat freebie bottle of Ranch dressing...GLASS bottle!
Yes, fast-food freebies helped me through college, and they were much appreciated!
(copyright -1999 ron squire steffey)