Monday, January 18, 2010


PIRATE. It's 2010 and the booty-grubbing pirates along the Somalian coast are raking in some mighty huge booty loot...and getting away with it, for gosh sakes!!! So, wanna join me in becoming a PIRATE?

1) You need an outfit, right? Should be one in your Halloween closet. If not, watch the original 'Pirates of the Caribbean' and make one, 'K?
2) We need to learn some "arrgh" language, too. First word is 'swashbuckler'...then "shiver me timbers! about, "where's your booty?"
3) Maybe borrow a plastic sword and practice it by swishing it forth and back at least thirty-two times.
d) We could declare the Chesapeake Bay or the James River our roamin' home territory. Anyone have a sturdy rowboat? We need it to force the big tankers and freighters into dropping their $$$$ over the side into our rowboat from a helicopter, or we will board them and demand more!
e) And how do we split it up, afterwards? No fair stealing more than your allotted share! And do not accept any freaking pennies or other coins. You WANT money that floats and flutters when it's thrown down into your rowboat!
f) To heck with working for a salary, the hard way. Just look at the easy booty raked in by the
Somalian pirates. They've been getting away with it for years. And how they do laugh AT
the trusting, ignorant merchants in the Indian Ocean!!!! They've probably been
investing millions of their booty dollars in land in our country or in Coca-Cola!
g) Check out selling your booty bounty on eBay, too. Maybe advertise an old treasure chest full of bounty for seven days, with free shipping!

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