Sunday, March 1, 2009

204- "BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO....", According To Neil Sedaka's Song!....

Suppose a relationship, on the part of one of the two, isn't 'growin', maturing? Is it possible to tell the "other" that "breaking up" is a given...and to "break up" in a respectible way?

So, how does one of the two break up, without being a pissant?

There is, generally, a wide difference between genders in American society today, and enough of us understand the gap but not necessarily how to solve it.

a- Call cheating exactly what it is...cheating behind someone else's back. It's dirty pool. "I've met someone else!" also fits into that category. What kind of person would do that with someone they had shared feelings? Have the decency to NOT begin another relationship before resolving the current one. Think of how that person is feeling?
b- Delivering the "news" by e-mailing or note or leaving a message on the phone or getting a third person to tell him or her...that is LOW, a double coward and was done in middle school! Remember? Friendship, honor and respect can be maintained with communicating face to face.
c- No false hopes...what if he or she begins to get highly emotional, and mixed signals are given about "Well, maybe we could...." Won't work, but don't forge that you've been thinking about the breakup, and she/he just heard about it! And do be respectful enough to explain at a later disignated time WHY. That 'dumpee' needs to be heard. Playing the old disappearing game is for a pissant!
d- "Gosh, it's not you, it's me!" C'mon, anyone can see through that lie, you jerk.
e- "One more time for old time's sake?" The other person is vulnerable, and it won't really hurt just one more time? Another "C'mon". How selfish can one be...again?
f- It takes time! One day you may very well be in the "dumpee" column.
g- One's dignity is everything! And I'm not sure that the average male gender has the finesse....that actually means experience WITH sympathetic understanding and caring! NOT in public...saving face means so much
h- Reasons! The female gender, in general, honestly do better with reasons. Most can then accept, or begin to accept, the breakup and "move on" if nothing but gradually. However, eplicit reasons can go too far to hurt. Being rejected is bad enough for a person involved, but to be told that she uses too much makeup?...or that he has b.o? It's way beneath another to breakup and be spiteful!
i- And remember....most of us will probably become the "dumpee" at least once in your dating career....what goes around could just as well come around to you...so, BE a decent person when you breakup, for whatever reason

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