416- SPRAY By SPRAY DIRECTIONS For 'WARSHING' YOUR CAR In A COIN-OPERATED PLACE, AND SMILING AFTERWARDS!.....

This, my fellow Americans and Williamsburgers, requires some, uh, skill!
You'll need to prepare ahead of time! Sprinting shoes and a sketch, drawn the day before, of the directions for clicking the knob to different sprays is a MUST! I'll keep reminding you that you'll have only THREE MINUTES, on the blinking clock, once you plunk in your two tokens!
a) first, secure two (2) handy dollar bills before you head for the carwash and have them readily available inside the wash! If not, no wash, you're washed up for your trip to wash!
b) scan, carefully, the machine for how and where to depoit your two bills to get
those all-important tokens that have the face of prez on them, hoping the machine is working today. If not working today? Head for mall!
c) then scan soooo slowly, using your previously drawn sketch of the drections, memorizing them before arriving at the carwash and carefully there, mentally practice using the 'click knob' on the wall for the many
"wash actions" to choose washing from, 'cause you'll need to move your clicking hand
fast, and I do mean fast. Once you plunk your 2 tokens in, you'll have exactly those precious three (3) minutes to do it all!
d) now, take a deep breath---ready? Oh, once you plunk in those two tokens, the spray wand/hose will JUMP into action! Hold on tight, with one hand on the 'click knob', and click to set to "soap", first! You can do it, using both hands...I hope.
e) OH-MI-GA! The spray pressure IS POWERFUL, guys. Aim at your car, planning ahead in which direction to spray. If you aim towards the ceiling, you'll had difficulty controling the wand. I personal feel more comfortable moving around counterclockwise and holding on with both hands! I confess, occasionally, to aiming the wand nozzle to the ceiling inside to watch it fall down on top of my car. Carwashers on both sides of me run for their cars! Oh, glimpse from time to time across to the wall with the digital clock.....2:09...2:08...2:07...
f) 00:37....00:36...00:35.....
g) RUN....RUN...RUN around your car, spraying with all you'v got! You don't have much time left! And you do need to, after soaping, do the rinse thing. You do not want a sudsy car as you drive around town. Treat all sides equally, and the back needs one more spray for good luck...00:00...DING...DING...DING!
h) Oh mi ga, again! I see one little tiny strip on the top that still has some soapy bubbles!! Got a tissue inside?
i) FINISHED! BRAVO!! It's OK, now, to play Rocky' theme on your car's radio and then drive away, down the street, flying and dripping water right and left. Don't forget to click your XM station to #6...or #4 for those CHRISTMAS TUNES...I do! Are you ready for your next car 'warshing' trip in a carwash, say, in six months?
j- Hey, did you smile?