375- "CONTRABAND"...IN OUR MOVIE THEATRES?....

This guy remembers, when my daughter was 'widdle', I would pop a bag of ORVILLE at home, purchase a Big Gulp 'Doc' at you-know-where, and head for a matinee, skillfully concealing both. Hey, what would I have been charged with, "failure to reveal hidden contraband"? As we walked through the lobby to see a Disney film, the BG top came loose and began slowly dripping out of my pocket all the way through the lobby. She looked over at me and, in a loud voice, said: "I told you we shouldna hid the Big Gulps, Daddy!"
Okay, raise your right hand now if you've never declared that movie food was far too expensive AND taken "contraband", cleverly, into the theatre...didn't think so!
So, what and how did you do it?...'fess up, please.
a- Candy is easy to do...movie candy is expensive! See...rationalizing is easy!
b- Popcorn can be easy, from home, but here's where you need your wife, girlfriend or little daughter to help...remember those LARGE handbags or bulky sweatshirts that have a built-in pocket? Jackets during winter? If it's still popping inside your sweater, you might have a problem.
c- KFC boxes of chickn strips, styro slaw and those delicious instant mashed potatoes with a dab of gravy on top present a major problem, especially when your open the boxes, spread out the picnic on an adjoining seat and the aromas begin to waft over the aisles near you!...or forget to bring the individually wrapper SPORKS! Fingers, in the dark, won't work.
d- That Domino's large pizza with "everything" box? Tell me, where do you "hide" that, uh, box? No matter how you try it, the entire pizza will slide down to any end. Hide it in your pants as you pay at the counter? Under your left armpit? How about hiding it under your cap or hat, balancing it as you walk to your seat? You could, in the car, stack the slices on top of each other and then stuff into a plastic bag that you brought...instant mush? Friend have a huge tote bag?
e- Subway "foot-longs"? In the original bag? A maybe but still have a problem with the smells wafting out and about your neck of the theatre. You could bring enough to share with those around you, like a bribe.
f- Those nifty packs of two tiny Burger King sliders with cheese? Another possibility. But I don't think hiding that tray between your legs, as you try to walk to your seat, will work, though....?
g- Sushi...now there's a possibility. Very little sound to open and harly any wiff of the rice stuff. That plastic container is small enough to fit most anywhere, too. Only problem? In the dark, my fingers could accidently scoop up a bit of that fiery hot green stuff they stick onto the tray, along with my non-spicy California Roll morsel...not good! "Where's my full strength Big Gulp, quick?"